BOCA INTERNATIONAL PUBLISHING COMPANY

Sunday, February 12th, 2012, 9:55 p.m.

Years ago, as a youngster, I became hooked on awards. It was a way of showing others that I was good at something. Never satisfied with just one award, I went on to earn others, cub badges, scout badges, racing ribbons, school sweater badges, just about anything that proved I had some skills. I then went on to the Kin organization and while there from 1966 to 1969 and 1974 until 1986, I got too involved with everything. Today I have a wall of thirty year old brass plaques, probably about 14 or 15 of them. They will likely be around long after I die. They do not mean much to people outside of the organization but to me each one was an accomplishment. Winning a national public relations award was probably among my favourites and the Life Membership was a fitting end to my years in Kin. They are all symbols of achievement, something that my paintings and ebooks have become in later years. While I did not make a million dollars and in fact went the other way as the years rode onward, I still gained a great deal of satisfaction in what little I did achieve. Four university degrees allowed me to make up for a lifetime of learning disabilities and as I look back, I can see that history will not speak well of my financial successes but it will remember me in the family history I have researched over 38 years and the fact that after 62 years I was able to reunite my mother with her older sister and give them ten years together towards the end of their lives. There are things in my past life I wish I could forget but they travel with me every waking moment and I know they are there. I live with the baggage of a lot of years but I have learned to let it go and not let it rule my life. There is no such thing as a perfect life, it begins and it ends, like that of my friend Harry who died while in university or Jeff and his brother Brian, childhood friends who did not live beyond 60 or so. Life is a journey and we all go down the same road. I watch a great many movies and TV shows because it is the generation I grew up with and it is an important part of my life. I am constantly attracted to the actresses of my daughter's age because it is the age I best remember and the youthfulness I carry inside this deteriorating old body. I do not expect to finish my life in someone else's arms so I am resigned to accept what comes and live the remaining years to the fullest. There are no promises in life, just the journey. I will leave this world eventually with the hope of a better life for those who follow. I hope to stick around long enough to see my grandchild and perhaps other grandchildren grew and prosper. Only time can take care of that. Give me another twenty years and maybe that will happen. If not, so be it, I have had my turn and now it is their's. As time goes by, all I can hope for is to be remembered by those who really care. That will be my last award in this life, long after I am gone. But don't count me out just yet!!!!!